


The Adventures of Ken(zie) McCormick

by SorrowfulJoy



Category: South Park
Genre: But he owns it, F/M, He Loves It, M/M, karen and kenny deserve all the love, kenny and tweek are besties, kenny gets turned into a girl, kenny is the school slut as always, smart craig tucker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:18:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorrowfulJoy/pseuds/SorrowfulJoy
Summary: One morning after another one of his deaths Kenny McCormick wakes up to find that something is definitely very wrong with his body, and by 'wrong' he means that he now has a vagina where there was once a penis.And, in typical Kenny fashion, he says fuck it all and decides to just have a little fun with his friends ;)((Inspired by Kenny McCormick's Fancy New Vagina by NyxRedfoxWinchester))





	1. Kenny and Tweek are BFFS

Pretty much the entirety of South Park had been surprised when none other than Kenny McCormick and Tweek Tweak suddenly seemed to become best friends overnight. What would the flirtatious, impulsive, badass Kenny have in common with the anxious, unsociable, quiet Tweek?

Well, for one, they both remembered Kenny’s deaths.

Yup, that was it. Their friendship had actually started when both boys were fourteen, one day a mentally unstable sophomore brought a gun to school and started shooting like crazy. Thankfully the police got there pretty quickly, and it was only Kenny who ended up dying. But Tweek had seen it, Tweek had been in the same classroom as Kenny when the other was shot. Everyone mourned like normal, but it was when Tweek got on the bus the next morning that he was surprised by everyone laughing like nothing had happened.

He’d admittedly had a bit of a freak out, yelling about Kenny, but Craig had grabbed him and calmed him down. Everyone was used to Tweek spouting out nonsense, so no-one really batted an eyelid. Tweek had been in the middle of recounting Kenny’s death the day before when none other than the orange parka’ed boy got onto the bus with his three friends.

“Look! See, he’s fine Tweekers” Craig had pointed at Kenny and there was a moment where Kenny looked up and locked eyes with the frankly terrified looking Tweek. He only sent him a confused glance before sitting down in his usual spot.

Kenny could feel Tweek’s eyes on him during the entire journey and it was when he got off the bus that he felt himself being pulled to the side, away from the other students and he quirked an eyebrow at the shaking blonde.

“What’s up?” Tweek just blinked at him and Kenny frowned; what was up with him?

“You died.” Those two words made Kenny’s face go as pale as Tweek’s currently was. Those two little words that he had waited YEARS to hear. And now here was Tweek Tweak saying them to him.

“H-huh?”

“You…you died! I know you probably think I’m crazy, everyone thinks I’m crazy because all the stuff I see but I swear Kenny I saw you die yesterday, there was a kid with a gun and he shot you right in the head and you were dead and everyone was sad but this morning it was just like everyone….forgot and now you’re here and I’m really really glad you’re here but this is freaky and are you a ghost? I know what I saw and----” Kenny got the feeling that if he didn’t cut Tweek off now he’d be talking forever and Kenny couldn’t stop himself from pulling Tweek into a sudden hug that made the smaller boy jolt in surprise. He sighed and clutched Tweek’s body to his as he rested his head in Tweek’s neck and tried to blink past the film of liquid covering his eyes.

“Y-yeah Tweek, I died.” Kenny felt Tweek jolt, like he was about to pull away, but he didn’t let him and just held the other boy tighter in response. He was worried that if he let go off Tweek right now he would just crumble into himself and disappear for good.

“You’re not crazy, and it’s not the first time that it’s happened. I come back every single time. I’ve been dying for as long as I remember Tweek, but no-one else ever remembers. It’s like….every time I die the next morning I wake up in my bed safe and alive like nothing happened and all of my friends don’t even remember that I died the day before.”

Kenny distantly realised that he was crying now, shaking as he held Tweek and he slowly felt the other’s arms come up around him and cling to him, a hand rubbing his back soothingly as he sobbed against the other boy.

“Kenny...” Tweek’s voice was small, like he wasn’t sure what to say, and Kenny couldn’t blame him. He slowly let go off Tweek after a moment, wiping his eyes and giving the other boy a watery smile.

“Hey, what do you say we ditch and go chat somewhere? I’m guessing you’ve got a lot of questions” Tweek’s eyes widened at that; Kenny had noticed the other boy had gotten way more confident over the years since he was dating Craig and all, but skipping was still probably a big deal for him.

“Ditch? Won’t we get in trouble?” Kenny shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets

“You can just say you threw up when you got to school, my parents never care about me skipping so I’ll be fine.” Tweek bit his lip for a moment as he thought about it, and then nodded

“Okay, let’s go”

The two boys ended up talking for hours at Starks Pond, Kenny recalling all his previous deaths and answering any questions Tweek had. It just felt so good to finally be able to talk to someone else about this, having one other person who knew about his curse/gift. It brought the two boys closer, as every time Kenny died from then on, he knew he could go to Tweek and Tweek found that the other boy never scorned him or acted like he was crazy when he talked about the gnomes or the other weird shit he saw. Kenny once said to him that if he remembered Kenny dying when no-one else did, who was to say that the other things he saw weren’t real too?

So, the years passed, and people slowly got used to the two being friends, they might not have understood it. But they got used to it. One side effect of Kenny and Tweek’s new found friendship was that Tweek now had the two toughest guys in South Park protecting him. If anyone even dared to fuck with Tweek Tweak they soon would be getting their ass kicked by either Craig Tucker, Kenny McCormick or both.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Kenny was sixteen when he realised he had a crush on Tweek. Two years of being the boy’s best friend had made him realise how different this Tweek actually was to the one he remembered in fourth grade. Sure he still appeared the same mostly on the outside, he was still anxious and twitchy and spouted apparent nonsense about gnomes and invisible things but his twitching itself had considerably calmed over the years; thanks to a mixture of dating Craig and cutting down on the coffee.

But when you got Tweek alone he was hilarious. Words Kenny never thought he would think, ever. The smaller boy was probably the kindest friend Kenny had ever had – minus Butters but Butters was in a whole other league when it came to kindness – but yet he was also incredibly teasing and sarcastic when he wanted to be.

One minute they could be having a heart-warming chat and then the next Tweek would be making a teasing comment and the two would end up wrestling; which of course would inevitably end with Kenny pinning Tweek down and tickling him until the other boy cried uncle.

It was during one of these exact moments where Kenny had Tweek pinned to the bed underneath them that he realised how utterly beautiful Tweek was. His white blonde hair fanned out on the bed underneath him, his greeny-blue eyes grinning up at him and his cheeks flushed from laughing.

Kenny paused for a moment, eyes widening at the sudden feeling of want that hit him and Tweek’s smile died down as he frowned up at him

“Ken? You okay?” Kenny quickly shook himself and got off of Tweek with a small smile

“Yeah yeah sorry, just blanked there for a second, I’m good” Tweek didn’t seemed convinced, but another reassuring grin from Kenny made him drop it and the two were off chatting again like nothing happened

Kenny knew he was royally fucked, he had a crush on his best friend, who happened to be in a long term relationship with Craig fucking Tucker of all people.  


	2. I woke up like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny wakes up and something is definitely amiss

Getting run over was one of Kenny’s least favourite deaths. Yes, he had died enough times by now that he had favourites. But getting run over? It happened so often that it was boring more than anything now, and it really fucking hurt. Especially when said driver not only hit him but also decided to run over his body afterwards.

But, like always, he woke up the next morning safe and sound, in his bed. He was glad it was the weekend because having to go back to school the day after dying was always annoying. All his friends laughing and joking; he knew it wasn’t their fault that they didn’t remember but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

One thing, however, that definitely was NOT normal was the severe lack of morning wood, in fact, it kinda felt…empty down there? Kenny sat up and pulled back his sheets to take a look at his dick and screamed at what he saw.

His dick was gone. His scream sounded like a girls and yup, that foreign weight on his chest was indeed a pair of boobs. He was a girl. How the fuck was he a girl?

“KENNY!” Karen pushed her way into the room, having heard a scream from her brother’s room, but stopped in her tracks at seeing a blonde girl sitting on her brothers’ bed.

“Uhhhh, who are you? Where is Kenny?” Kenny’s mind blanked as he stared at his little sister

“U-uh…Karebear I can explain” Karen’s eyes widened and she slowly stepped closer

“K..Ken?” Kenny nodded and Karen ran over to him, eyes wide as she looked him up and down

“How…you’re a girl Kenny!”

“I know! I mean, I don’t know! I mean…I just woke up like this!” Karen smiled at him then and the action warmed Kenny’s heart

“This is SO cool! I have a big sister! I can do your make up and nails and it’d be super awesome and—” Kenny chuckled at his sisters enthusiasm

“As great as that sounds Kare, can you go and grab mom please? I kinda think she needs to know about this”

“Oh sweetie I already know.” Both McCormick siblings jumped at the sound of their mom’s voice, looking over to see her standing by the door with a small pile of clothes in her hands; they both forgot how quiet she could be when she was sober.

“Uhh?” She grinned at them both and walked over, dropping the pile of clothes on the end of Kenny’s bed

“I noticed last night when I put you in your bed so I dug up some of my old clothes from when I was younger for you to wear” Karen looked at them both questioningly but decided not to ask; too much weird shit went on in this town for her to always be asking questions.

“Oh, uh, okay, thanks? But what are we gonna tell everyone about…this?” Kenny gestured to his feminine body 

“Already thought about it, we’re gonna say that you’re Kenny’s cousin from out of town and you’re staying with us for a while” Both Kenny and Karen blinked at their mom

“Our cousin?”

“Yes, Kenzie.”

“…Kenzie? Mom isn’t that incredibly obvious?” Karen frowned at their mom as she spoke but Kenny spoke before their mom could reply

“Actually, it might just work. Weirder stuff has happened in this town than a new mysterious cousin arriving”

“Yeah, but what are we gonna say about the actual Kenny mysteriously disappearing? And why is cousin ‘Kenzie’ suddenly down here while he’s gone?” Their mom sighed and put a hand to her forehead, the well-known sign that she had decided she needed a drink or a joint.

“I don’t know! I can’t think of everything!” With that she turned on her heel and left, leaving the two youngest McCormick siblings to glance at each other and sigh

“Soooo….what we gonna do?” Karen plopped herself down next to Kenny on the bed and he sighed

“I don’t know…” Just then his phone buzzed with a text and he swiped it up to see it was from Tweek

_Hey, you okay?_

Tweek always sent him a check-up text the morning after one of Kenny’s deaths, it was incredibly adorable and didn’t help Kenny’s crush on the smaller blonde at all.

_uuuhhhh I mean I’m alive but ive kinda got a small problem_

_What’s wrong? Do you need me to come over?_

“Kenny?” Kenny glanced up from his phone to see Karen looking at him questioningly and a lightbulb hit him

“It’s Tweek, I think he might be able to help us come up with an idea, do you wanna get dressed and head over there with me?” Karen blinked for a moment before nodding and rushing out of the room

_Kenny?_

_yeah sorry kare was talking to me is it okay if we both come over?_

_Yeah of course!_

_awesome uh this is gonna sound weird but are your parents home?_

_Uhh, no, they’re both at the shop…why?_

_i’ll explain when I get there…just brace yourself cuz I look really weird right now_

_…Okay_

Kenny sighed and put his phone down, glancing at the pile of clothes at the end of his bed. This was going to be interesting.


	3. This is gonna be fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny and Karen visit Tweekers, an unexpected visitor drops by ;)
> 
> Also, forgot to say this last chapter, but my face-claim for Female!Kenny is Sasha Pieterse (https://st.kp.yandex.net/im/kadr/1/1/8/kinopoisk.ru-Sasha-Pieterse-1180022.jpg)

“So…you woke up like this?”

“…Did you just quote Beyonce at me?” Kenny levelled an unimpressed glare at Tweek as Karen laughed from her spot sitting cross-legged on the floor. Tweek merely shrugged and sent Kenny a smile that made his stomach feel like it was momentarily flipped upside down.

“But seriously, you just woke up and bam?” Tweek gestured to Kenny’s very female body and Kenny sighed and nodded

“Yeah, mom already came up with the idea to say I’m my—I mean Kenny’s cousin called Kenzie but we need to come up with a reason as to why I’m in South Park at the same time that Kenny has mysteriously disappeared.

“…Kenzie, really?” Karen smirked from the floor and spoke up

“Yeah that’s what I said too” Kenny shrugged in response

“And I said weirder stuff has happened. Besides, it’ll be easier for me to remember to reply to people if it’s a similar name, I’ll just hear the ‘Ken’ part and look up” Tweek nodded at that

“Fair enough” It was then that Karen’s tummy decided to grumble, and she immediately sent an apologetic look at Tweek; the soft smile that Tweek sent her in reply was beautiful

“There’s some leftover tuna pasta from dinner yesterday in the fridge Karen, do you wanna grab it and three bowls and forks and we can share it for lunch?”

Kenny loved this boy, he really did. Karen opened her mouth as if to protest but Tweek beat her to the chase

“There’s too much for me to finish on my own anyway, it’ll just go to waste otherwise” Karen bit her lip before nodding and sending Tweek a grateful smile

“Thank you Tweek!” They both watched as she left the room before Tweek turned back to Kenny

“Thank you Tweek.” Kenny repeated Karen’s sentiment and Tweek shrugged it off

“It’s fine, like I said there’s too much there anyway.”

“Seriously though, I really do appreciate you helping me out with food all the time, it makes it just that bit easier to take care of Karen when I’ve got an awesome best friend like you” Kenny hid his smirk at Tweek’s blush

“Wait-wait that’s it!” Tweek spasmed suddenly with an idea and Kenny raised an expectant brow

“Your protectiveness! That’s the answer! We could say that maybe Kenzie was having some trouble at home, family stuff, and she needed help with it and you agreed to go to hers and help her out only if she came here and watched Karen for you while you were gone because you didn’t want to leave Karen on her own without you!” Tweek beamed at his brilliant idea and a slow smile formed on Kenny’s face before he tackled the other in a hug

“That’s brilliant! I knew you were my friend for a reason” Kenny pulled back from the hug with a teasing grin and Tweek rolled his eyes even as he blushed at the compliment

“Really? I thought it was because I’m the only person in this town f-fucked up enough to remember you dying” Kenny shrugged and waved a hand

“Yeah that too.”

“Speaking of which, do you think something got messed up on the way when you were-uh-reborn?” Tweek tilted his head with a frown as he spoke. Kenny shrugged and glanced down at his boobs before looking back up again

“Maybe? I just hope that I’m not like this forever. It’s weird.” Tweek gave Kenny a small smirk then and shrugged almost shyly

“I dunno, it could be kinda fun. No-one at school will know it’s you, you c-could totally mess with people!” Kenny paused, thinking that over for a minute.

Actually, Tweek had a good point…no-one will know it’s secretly Kenny behind this female body, he knew exactly how to make his friends squirm in the best kind of ways. Kenny looked back to Tweek and grinned

“I am so gonna flirt with every guy in our year.” Tweek rolled his eyes at that but he had a fond smile

“Of course, even as a girl you’re still the school slut”

“Heyy! School flirt, not school slut, I keep my dick in my pants…most of the time anyway” Tweek smirked at Kenny and leaned back on the bed so he was resting on his palms

“You’re gonna have to find a new phrase Ken, considering you don’t h-have one of those anymore.” There was silence for a moment as Kenny took that in before he leapt at Tweek with a laugh

“You asshole! Come here!” The two play wrestled on the bed, laughing and tickling each other every chance they got; they both were too busy messing around to hear the footsteps and it was as Kenny had managed to pin Tweek down to the bed that they heard a deep voice that was definitely not Karen’s.

“…Tweek?” They both looked over to see Craig in the doorway; frowning. Tweek gulped as he realised what this looked like. Kenny, as a girl, pinning him down on his bed, both of them red faced and panting. Kenny also seemed to realise, but instead of going wide-eyed like Tweek he sent Craig a flirtatious smile and released Tweek’s hands to sit back on the other boy’s lap.

“Craig---” Tweek was cut off by Craig who had now stepped into the room; Kenny noticed Karen appear behind Craig looking worried

“Do you mind getting off my boyfriend?” Craig was glaring at Kenny now and the blonde simply sent him a smirk in response. Craig’s jaw twitched, and he moved closer but was stopped by Tweek who had rolled his eyes and sat up to gently push Kenny off him

“Kenzie.” Craig frowned and blinked at Tweek

“You know her?” Tweek opened his mouth to answer but before he could a small yet firm voice peeped up from behind Craig

“She’s my cousin, do you want some tuna pasta Craig? I can go get another bowl.” Craig almost startled at the voice and turned around to blink at Karen before nodding

“Uh, yeah, sure thanks” Kenny loved his sister. So many people thought the McCormick siblings were stupid because of their shitty genes and wreck of a house but they really weren’t. Kevin had managed – with a bit of help from the school counsellor – to get a scholarship to Colorado State University. Kenny may not be book smart but he was sure as hell street smart; Tweek once said to him that Kenny could see through people like they were windows. Which Kenny figured was Tweek’s own way of saying Kenny could read people like a book. As for Karen? She was blessed with both Kevin’s school smarts and Kenny’s people smarts.

And right now? She was sending Craig some serious ‘calm down before I make you’ vibes. And you’d be an idiot not to be just a little bit scared of the McCormick siblings.

Karen turned on her heel to head back downstairs and Craig looked back at Kenny with narrowed eyes; he smiled and laid his smaller hands delicately on his lap as he cocked a brow back in response. He saw the fire spark in Craig’s dark eyes the same way it did when the two fought and Kenny bit back a shit-eating grin; this was gonna be so much fun.


	4. Flirting time~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day at school, Kenzie is already loving it~

Monday before school Kenny was at Tweek’s house, admiring himself in the mirror. Damn. Karen had done his make-up for him this morning before he’d dropped her at school and Kenny was amazed by the way the black mascara and eyeliner made his baby blue eyes pop out and how the pink blush and shimmery lip-gloss made his cheeks flush and lips look like he’d just been kissed. He was wearing a low cut black top with dark jeans and he turned to the side in the mirror to stare at how his boobs and butt jutted out in the outfit.

He’d fuck himself. Was that weird? Probably.

“Are you done checking yourself out yet Ken? I don’t wanna be late!” Kenny turned to grin at Tweek who was shaking ever so slightly at the prospect of getting in trouble.

“Aww come on Tweeky, even your gay ass has to admit I’m hot as fuck.” Tweek merely rolled his eyes and threw Kenny’s---or well technically Kenzie’s---coat at him. At the same time there was a beep from outside and Tweek jolted.

“C-Craig’s here!” Kenny shrugged his coat on and glanced at Tweek with a mischievous smirk as they headed downstairs

“Heyyy, Tweeeekk?” Tweek glanced at Kenny; he knew that voice

“What do you want Ken?”

“I was just wonderinggg, would you be pissed off if I flirted with Craig while I’m Kenzie?” Tweek rolled his eyes but he was smiling

“No I don’t mind, I trust him and I trust you so it’s fine, it’ll probably a-actually be pretty funny” They got outside as Tweek said this and Kenny smiled wide before pulling Tweek into a hug

“Thanks Tweeky!” Kenny could feel Craig’s eyes on them and hid his smirk as Tweek blushed and returned the hug before pushing Kenny away gently

“It’s okay, I guessed you were gonna flirt with every guy anyway” They got to the car and Kenny spoke as Tweek leaned down to the car window to kiss Craig

“Naturally.” Kenny sent Craig another flirty smile as he slid into the back seat and Tweek got in the front. Craig clearly wasn’t pleased with Kenny’s presence but said nothing; Tweek had explained to him on Saturday that Kenny had asked Tweek to keep an eye out for Kenzie while she was in town.

Craig cranked up the music and the three of them sat in pleasant silence – Kenny had to admit it was actually a nice change from riding in Stan’s car where Kyle and Cartman were constantly at each other’s throats.

No-where near as nice though, as the feeling Kenny got when he stepped out of Craig’s car and immediately felt all eyes on him. It was like something out of a movie. There was even an appreciative wolf whistle and Kenny flicked his eyes towards the noise to see Clyde grinning at him; a simple wink back and Kenny almost laughed at the way Clyde’s cheeks turned red.

Victim number one.

Kenny sauntered over to Clyde and Token; knowing Tweek and Craig were following him to head over to see their friends anyway and leant close to Clyde with a smile

“Hey, what’s your name cutie?” Kenny bit his lower lip gently as he looked up at Clyde through his eyelashes and swore he could see the moment the brunette boy came undone.

“U-uhhh” Kenny felt a smooth hand take his own and glanced over to see Token smiling warmly at him, he kissed the back of Kenny’s pale hand gently and shit if Kenny wasn’t a stronger man—girl? This was so confusing----he would have swooned at the gesture.

“Sorry about him, his name is Clyde, and I’m Token, you are?” People had gathered to watch and try and get any gossip about the new girl and Kenny was revelling in the spotlight. He smiled softly at Token - the perfect picture of innocence – and let a small giggle escape his lips

“Such a gentleman, I’m Kenzie”

“She’s Kenny’s cousin from out of town” It was Tweek that spoke and Kenny glanced back at him to see the fond amusement in his eyes. Tweek could tell how much Kenny was loving this.

“Waitttttttt, you’re Kinny’s cousin?” Oh of course, Kenny took his hand away from Token’s to turn around just as Cartman approached, Stan and Kyle behind him like always. Kenny tilted his head and looked Cartman up and down before smiling

“Eric right? Kenny talks about you all the time” Kenny stepped closer and tucked a bit of hair behind his ear as he looked up at Cartman.

“Really, what does he say then?” Kenny had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at Cartman’s ‘manly man’ façade and stepped even closer to put one hand on Cartman’s hard chest (Kenny’s best friend had gotten the better end of the puberty stick as they got older when his fat seemed to magically turn into muscle and height overnight)

Kenny lightly traced a circle on Cartman’s chest while he grinned up at him and leant up close to whisper in his ear so that the others wouldn’t hear what he said next

“He told me you were a big guy, but I’m more interested in finding out just how big you are down south” Cartman responded with a low growling sound that would have turned Kenny on had he been interested in his larger friend and Kenny pulled back with a sly look to see the other’s cheeks were coloured pink and his pupils dilated.

It was then that the bell decided to ring, and Kenny sent a smirk to his audience before heading inside the building.

Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.


	5. Us girls stick together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some interaction between Ken(zie) and the girls this time, bit of a filler chapter really

Lunch time came and Kenny was all set to go and sit with the boys and flirt his cute little butt off, but before he could take his tray over to their table he was intercepted by none other than Bebe and Wendy who both sent him incredibly fake smiles as they purposefully blocked off his path

Great. Just great.

“Hey! You’re the new girl right?” It was Wendy who spoke first, and Kenny could tell straight away what was going on. They were feeling threatened by him, so all he had to do was act non-threatening to throw them off.

“Yeah, I’m Kenzie, what’s your names?” Kenny sent them a shy smile, and could see Bebe ate it up but Wendy clearly still had her metaphorical hackles raised

“I’m Bebe, this is Wendy! You’re Kenny’s cousin right?” Before Kenny could reply Wendy spoke up

“Hey Kenzie, why don’t you come sit with us?” It was more of a command than a question but Kenny made his eyes light up with happiness and smiled at them both disarmingly

“Really? You two want me to sit with you? That’s so nice of you! And yeah I’m Kenny’s cousin, did you say your name is Bebe? ‘Cause he talks about you all the time.” Bebe almost squealed aloud at that and linked her free arm with Kenny’s

“Really he does? What does he say?!?”

“Wait he doesn’t say anything about me?” Wendy sounded almost upset at that and as they walked over to the girls table Kenny glanced at her and saw the final thing he needed to say to knock down her defences

“Well, you’re with Stan right? Kenny says you two have been a thing for years now, my cousin may be a flirt but he’s not a homewrecker” Wendy smiled at that and Kenny hid his inner smirk.

Bullseye.

“He told you about me and Stan?” They sat down at the table with the other girls already seated and Kenny ignored the eyes he could feel on him as he smiled warmly at Wendy

“Of course he did! You’re the schools power couple, right?” Kenny knew feeding Wendy’s ego was the best way to get on her good side and it was definitely working judging by the pleased smile on the dark haired girl’s face

“So, Kenzie right? Why are you in South Park anyway?” Red’s tone had a bit of bite to it and Kenny bit back a smirk at the glare Wendy sent to the fiery girl in response

“Red!”

“What?! I’m just saying it’s weird for her to transfer here halfway through the year” Bebe opened her mouth this time to speak but Kenny beat her to the chase with a gentle smile

“It’s okay, she’s got a point. It’s umm…” At this Kenny bit his lip and looked down, faking upset and making his eyes water a bit; he immediately felt a warm hand against his back and glanced up to see Bebe smiling gently at him

“It’s just…kinda personal..there’s some stuff going on at home, bad stuff, and well, Kenny offered to go and help sort things out but he was worried about Karen being left on her own without him so I said I’d come here and watch her for him while he’s gone” Kenny glanced up with teary eyes to see all the girls at the table looking at him sympathetically

“Oh you poor thing!”

“Kenny’s such a gentleman!”

“Kenzie, if you need anything at all you just come to one of us alright?” That was Wendy, smiling at him reassuringly and all the girls nodded in agreement while Annie spoke up

“Yeah! Us girls stick together!” Kenny had to hold back a snort at that comment; he knew these girls stabbed each other in the back just as often as Cartman and Kyle traded blows.

“Thank you guys, that means a lot, really” Kenny smiled and wiped at his wet eyes and heard the girls coo at him like he was a baby before Bebe pulled him into a tight hug

Wow these girls were easy to fool.

“So…if you don’t mind me asking, what was all that back with Cartman before school?” Kenny glanced over to see Heidi looking at him with a raised eyebrow; her and Cartman had broken it off ages ago after Wendy and Bebe had finally managed to convince the other girl how bad the fatass actually was for her so Kenny knew she was more curious than anything else.

Kenny smirked as an idea came to him, and he let it show on his face this time. Leaning forward and lowering his voice and almost laughing out loud at how the girls mirrored his actions.

“Well, actually, I was speaking to Kenny before I came over here and he’s always going on about how he thinks Kyle and Eric secretly have the hots for each other and how he kinda wishes they would just get it on already” The girls all collectively gasped at this – apart from Red and Nichole who laughed – and Kenny sent them both a grin.

“So, I was flirting with Eric to try and get a reaction out of Kyle” 

“Did it work?” Kenny shrugged his shoulders at Millie as she spoke

“I dunno, I didn’t get a chance to see”

“Well…now that you mention it, I swear Kyle has been extra pissy with Cartman this morning…maybe it’s because he’s mad at him for flirting with you too?” The girls gasped and then began chattering away at a hundred miles a minute at Lola’s thoughtful comment

“Really?”

“Oh my gosh I wonder if Kenny’s right!”

“We should TOTALLY set them up!”

“Yes!”

“Guys are you kidding me? Kyle and Cartman? They hate each other!”

“But do they? Maybe they’re just arguing all the time because of pent up sexual tension!”

“That makes so much sense!”

“Wait so you think if we get them together they’ll stop fighting all the time?”

“It’s worth a try! Right, girls, meeting at my house after school, we’ll go over all the details then, Kenzie, you in?” Kenny blinked as he was suddenly addressed by Wendy and looked up with a shy smile

“Uh, well actually I promised Karen I’d spend some time with her today after school since we usually don’t get to see each other much…” Kenny was proud of himself for his quick thinking there and Bebe nodded

“Oh of course! Well we’ll keep you updated!” Kenny nodded absently as the girls began to talk again about ‘Operation Kyman’ and let his mind drift to his own plan.

Operation Flirt with Everyone.

…Okay, so maybe he needed a new operation name.


	6. That smooth mother fucker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Craig seduction begins ;)

As much as Kenny was enjoying being a girl, he was starting to wonder if he was ever going to change back. It was Friday, the end of the school week, and he was still rocking boobs and a vagina.

He’d also discovered something that both irritated and intrigued him at the same time.

Craig Tucker was not easily seduced.

Kenny had been systematically working his way through the boys at school, he’d already had both Clyde and Cartman hooked from the first day, he’d tried it on with Kyle just for kicks - because yes the redhead was hot as fuck – but as Kenny had suspected Kyle was 100% homosexual and had merely raised an eyebrow at Kenny’s flirting before politely excusing himself.

That then left just Token, Butters and Craig; he had meant what he had said earlier to Wendy about not being a home wrecker so Stan was off the cards. He’d already half-worked Token into the palm of his hand on the first day but he didn’t count it as a win unless he got an obvious visceral reaction from his ‘victim’

He had his first real attempt at seducing Craig in their gym class when it was announced they would be doing wrestling. The coach made a half-assed attempt at suggesting to separate the class into boys and girls but was instantly interrupted by Wendy

“You can’t seriously be suggesting to separate the girls from the boys? That’s so sexist!”

“I’m just concerned about any of you girls being injured whe---” Kenny scoffed at that and felt eyes be pulled to him as he glared at the coach

“That’s bullshit. We’re girls, not china dolls. We can kick ass just as well as any of the guys in this room.” Wendy sent an appreciative look over at Kenny and the latter knew he was now firmly in the other’s good books.

“It was just a suggestion” The coach put his hands up and quickly walked away before more angry students could yell at him and Kenny snorted and rolled his eyes as he put his hands on his hips, looking up as Wendy came over to speak to him

“Thanks Kenzie, it’s nice to see there’s another girl in this school who isn’t afraid to stand up to the patriarchy” Kenny wasn’t entirely sure what Wendy meant by that but he nodded and smiled back anyway

“I just didn’t like that asshole implying that I can’t hold my own. I could take any of these boys easily.” Wendy opened her mouth to reply but instead Eric Cartman’s voice came out of it

“Oh really?” Both girls glanced over as Cartman strutted over with a confident grin and Kenny resisted the urge to roll his eyes, instead planting a confident smirk on his face and turning to face the fatass

“You think you could take me ‘easily’?” Kenny paused at that question, glancing Cartman up and down in a way that definitely made the other bristle in response. Yeah Cartman had a lot of weight and muscle to him, anybody would take one look at Kenny’s beast of a friend and go running in the other direction; but Kenny knew Cartman like the back of his own hand. In brute strength and force Cartman would definitely win, but Kenny knew all the right spots to hit to take Cartman down after years of tussling and Kenny had speed and surprise on his side.

Yeah. Kenny was definitely up for the challenge. So he stepped slightly closer, grinning up at Cartman with mischief in his eyes.

“You bet I do.” Kenny saw the way Cartman’s eyes lit up at the word ‘bet’ and could have almost hit himself in the face for walking right into that one. His stupid friend could never resist a bet.

“You bet? Fine, let’s bet. I bet that I can pin you in under a minute.” Fuck it.

“Alright. And I bet that I can pin YOU in under a minute. What does the loser have to do?” Cartman looked at Kenny thoughtfully then, and Kenny could tell by the lust peeking into his eyes that he wanted to suggest something sexual.

“Why doesn’t the loser have to down a nasty drink made at Token’s party on Friday night?” It was Stan that said this, and Kenny glanced around Cartman to see they had attracted a mini-audience with their little bet. Kenny could see Tweek smirking at him and Kenny couldn’t resist from winking at his friend just to see the way that Craig’s jaw twitched in irritation beside him.

“Eww, that’s gross Stan.” Kenny looked back at Cartman as he pulled a face at Stan’s idea and Kenny put his hands on his hips and smirked up at Cartman

“Problem?” Cartman seemed to regain his composure quickly and smirked back at Kenny

“Nope, not at all, ‘cause I’ll be winning”

“Are you two quite done yet? This is a gym lesson, not the school playground” Kenny bit back a grin at the coach’s annoyed voice and nodded

“Yup. Let’s do this.”     

The two faced off, and the coach started blurting out the rules but Kenny had heard them a hundred times so he tuned them out and assessed Cartman instead. His mind thought back to all their fights and tussles and he quickly picked out the weak points he knew Cartman had. Most of Cartman’s weight was top heavy, so Kenny knew to go for the lower half of his friend’s body.

“Alright, ready? Go!”

Kenny stood still shooting his hands out into a defence position as Cartman grinned at him and started edging closer. He decided to use another one of Cartman’s weaknesses against him; his cockiness.

“Times ticking, didn’t you say you’d pin me in the first minute?” Cartman raised an eyebrow at that and Kenny saw his muscles twitch before he came at Kenny like a bull. Kenny waited until the last possible second before side-stepping and quickly spinning around so he was behind Cartman. He quickly grabbed the beefy shoulders infront of him while using his own knees to apply pressure to the back of Cartman’s knees.

His best friend went down with a loud thud as his knees buckled and Kenny set his weight firmly on Cartman while shoving the others’ shoulders down to connect with the ground. The coach blew the whistle and Kenny grinned before getting up off Cartman with a smug smile. The other rolled over to look up at him with wide eyes and Kenny simply winked at the other before taking his place back with the other girls while Red went out on the mat.

“Wow, Kenzie! Where’d you learn that?” It was Bebe who spoke as she came back over and Kenny smiled at her and Wendy with a raised brow

“I’m a McCormick, if we didn’t know how to hold our own we’d be extinct by now.”

“What a shame that’d be.” Kenny heard Craig’s sarcastic drawl and looked beside him to see the tall noirette standing with his boyfriend. Kenny sent a glare his way – annoyed by his comment – but he then grinned and stepped closer to look up at Craig with a bite to his tone.

“Aww Craig, I didn’t know you were so invested in us McCormicks, so sweet.” Kenny could see Tweek biting back a grin at Kenny’s quick comeback and Craig narrowed his eyes as both Wendy and Bebe giggled behind Kenny.

“I’m really not.” This was said in Craig’s usual monotone voice but Kenny knew the other was irritated and since pissing Craig off was one of his favourite hobbies he decided to push. He stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on the other’s chest and looking up with deceptively innocent doe eyes

“Really? You sure I can’t change your mind about that?” Kenny licked his upper lip as though he was just wetting it casually and saw the way Craig’s eyes flickered down to the movement before those dark eyes were glaring at him again

“I’m sure.” With that Craig abruptly walked in the other direction and Kenny pouted as Tweek sniggered at him before following after his boyfriend, he turned around to see Wendy and Bebe looking at him with expectant, almost scolding faces.

“…What?” Kenny questioned the two as they were clearly wanting to say something to him and it was Bebe who spoke first

“Well, don’t you think it’s a bit…mean to be flirting with Craig?” Kenny tilted his head in confusion

“Huh? What do you mean?” Wendy sighed and waved a hand in Tweek’s direction

“He’s got a boyfriend, and you just flirted with him RIGHT in front of Tweek.” Ohhhh…right. Kenny sent them a reassuring smile, trying his best to look innocent

“Ohhh, I’m just teasing! Tweek’s a friend anyway and I spoke to him about it, he doesn’t mind me flirting with Craig a bit” The two girl’s eyes cleared of their anger at this

“Ohh! Well, then, that’s okay, right Wendy?” Wendy nodded at Bebe’s comment but was still frowning a bit

“Well, if you know he’s taken then what do you get out of flirting with him? Why do you do it?” Kenny shrugged at that glancing over to the mat to see it was his turn again next

“It annoys him when I flirt with him, and he’s so hot when he’s angry. I can still like the guy even if he’s taken, from what Kenny tells me Craig would never cheat on Tweek anyway” Wendy still looked unconvinced, but Kenny was called to the mat just as she opened her mouth to speak again.

“Oops, hold that thought Wendy!” Kenny was glad for the reason to walk away from the dark-haired girl and even more glad when he saw who his opponent was. Craig Tucker.

Craig simply glared at Kenny while the latter sent him a wink right as the coach called out for them to start. Craig was another person Kenny had frequent fights with, though his fights with Craig were actual fights whereas with Cartman it was more often than not playful wrestling. But the point was he knew Craig’s weak points and Craig didn’t know ‘Kenzie’s’, just Kenny’s.   

Unlike Cartman, Craig didn’t just charge in blindly, he put his hands out in defensive and they both started to circle each other, occasionally making grabs but missing. Craig managed to grab hold of Kenny by the waist and took him down, but as the two were falling Kenny managed to wrap his legs around Craig’s waist and spin them around so that it was Craig that landed on his back. Kenny immediately tried to pin the other down but Craig held his arms up in a ‘x’ and lifted his shoulders up so that they weren’t touching the floor. Kenny was pushing down on Craig’s hands, using his weight to pin the other to the floor, both of their faces inches away as Craig glared and Kenny smirked.

Kenny got a devious idea and decided to rotate his groin against Craig’s as he sat atop him. Craig’s eyes widened at the action and Kenny could tell that – yes – it definitely turned the noirette on.  He bit his lower lip as he looked down at the other; keeping the pressure on so that Craig couldn’t throw him off.

“Come on Craig, just give in.” Kenny kept his voice low and quiet as he leant in a bit closer; purposely choosing his words to have a double meaning in them. There was a pause then, as Craig’s eyes locked onto his and Kenny could almost see the resolve crumbling in them.

Yesssss, come on Tucker. Kenny leant closer, feeling like there was nothing else in the room right now except Craig’s dark blue eyes staring back at him. Just an inch closer and---

Kenny abruptly found himself pinned on his back, both shoulders down on the mat and he blinked in shock as the coach blew the whistle. Fuckkkkkkk. Craig looked down at him for a minute, before standing up with a smirk and downright STEALING Kenny’s move by winking at him before heading back over to Tweek.

That smooth mother fucker.


	7. Another one bites the dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny ticks two more names off his flirt list ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has commented/kudos so far on this fic! It honestly makes my day every time I see a new comment pop up on here and inspires me to write more so please keep 'em coming! :D

Kenny was sitting on the bench after being put on his ass by Craig, sipping from his water bottle when he felt a presence sit beside him and glanced over to see Butters giving him a gentle smile. Kenny bit back his inner smirk as his mind drifted from his defeat at Craig’s hands to his task of seducing his friends. And he knew Butters would be easy; all he had to do was play angelic girl next door with Butters.

“Hey, I saw what happened on the mat there, are you okay?” Butters spoke softly, his big blue eyes staring into Kenny’s and Kenny smiled and glanced down to the floor as though he were shy

“Uh yeah, I’m okay, I was just a bit surprised” Butters nodded at that and Kenny looked up at him from the corner of his eye

“Yeah, Craig is a tough one, I saw your tussle with Eric though, that was amazing!” Kenny looked up at that with a wide smile and titled his head so that his hair fell away from his neck and displayed his collarbone to Butters.

He noticed the way Butters’ eyes flickered to the bare skin before glancing back to look at Kenny again

“Really? You saw that?” Kenny giggled shyly, reaching up to tuck a piece of stray hair behind his ear

“It wasn’t that difficult to be honest, I’ve got a big brother back home and we always used to wrestle when we were kids” Butters smiled encouragingly at Kenny and Kenny remembered that this was Butters he was dealing with here, he’d have to be a bit more forward

“You do? Boy, I bet you’re awful homesick right now, I know I would be” Kenny saw his chance and took it, he shuffled a bit closer to Butters then while looking down at the floor again, faking a wobble in his voice as he spoke lowly

“Yeah...I kinda am. I mean, stuff’s pretty bad with my family right now but I definitely miss my friends a lot, I don’t really know anyone here besides Tweek and he’s always with his boyfriend so I don’t really have anyone to spend time with” Kenny continued to look down, feeling his eyes water at his faked sorrow and he only looked up when he felt a warm hand on his knee

“Hey, I mean, I know I’m not your friends from back home but you can always hang out with me if you want?” Kenny smiled at Butters and his soft gentle look; he almost felt bad for playing him like this considering Kenny genuinely liked the other boy but he had a mission to complete and Butters just happened to be part of it.

“Really?” Butters nodded with a smile and Kenny went in for the kill

“Thank you!” He threw his arms around the back of Butter’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug, he felt the other stiffen for a moment before returning the hug. Kenny then pressed just that little bit closer; pushing his boobs up against Butter’s chest as he tucked his head down so that he was breathing softly against Butter’s neck.

“Uuhhh, Kenzie?” Kenny could hear how flustered Butters was in his voice and pulled his face back to look at the other. He still had his arms wrapped around him and now their faces were inches apart, Kenny blinked innocently at Butters while secretly enjoying his friend’s reddened face

“Huh? Oh I’m sorry! It’s just…this is the nicest anyone’s been to me since I got here…” Kenny let the moment linger – keeping his face inches from Butters -  and it was when Butters eyes flickered down to his lips that he finally pulled away and looked down like he was embarrassed.

“Uh, I’m, just gonna go to the toilet okay? It was nice talking to you!” Kenny spoke quickly like he was flustered, standing up quickly and heading to the girls’ bathroom. He sneaked a glance at Butters as he left and saw how red the others’ face was and the wistful smile he held.

Now he just had Token and Craig left.

~~~~~~~  


Thankfully it seemed fate was in on Kenny’s little plan as the very next day Token and him were paired up together in chemistry class. The two quickly sat together and listened as the teacher gave out instructions on what they were doing today before getting to work.

Chemistry was one of the few classes Kenny was actually good at and for once he thanked his inherited druggie genes as he knew Token liked smart girls. They sat in silence for a moment as they mixed together and measured out the chemicals; both focusing intently. It wasn’t too long though before Kenny felt Token’s eyes on him

“You’re really good at this” Kenny looked up from his beaker at Token’s voice and playfully quirked an eyebrow at him

“What? You thought I wouldn’t be?” Token’s eyes widened for a second as slight shame passed though his eyes before he shook his head

“N-no that’s not what I meant!” Kenny laughed, the sound high and feminine to his own ears as he leaned in a bit closer to Token, purposely pushing out his chest as he did so

“I’m just kidding” He smiled up at Token, tilting his chin down to make his eyes appear bigger and watched smugly as Token seemed to freeze for a moment before he regained his composure and laughed; unconsciously leaning in closer

“So, hey, I’m having a party on Friday night, I don’t know if you’ve heard about it but pretty much everyone is invited, I’d love to see you there” Kenny smiled at Token, tilting his head

“Did I just get a personal invitation from the host himself?” Token smiled back and Kenny had never noticed just how flirty the other was until now

“Indeed you did, so will I be seeing you there?” Kenny hummed then, leaning even closer and placing a hand on Token’s shoulder as he softened his voice

“Depends, will you make it worth my time?” Kenny looked at Token through lowered eyelids and bit his bottom lip; trailing his hand down Token’s arm suggestively. He watched as Token swallowed; his dark eyes on Kenny’s lips.

“Definitely.” Token’s low voice sent a jolt straight to Kenny’s lower regions and just as Token started to lean in someone cleared their throat loudly and both Kenny and Token jolted away from each other to see their teacher standing in front of their desk with her arms crossed; frowning at them.

“If you two are quite done would you mind continuing the task.” It was definitely not a question and Kenny hid his smirk at how bashful Token suddenly became

“Y-yes, sorry!” The teacher walked off then and the rest of the lesson passed in relative silence between the two with Token being relatively flustered and Kenny vaguely amused by it.

Now he just had Craig left.


	8. Where's all my soul sisters?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls rock it at the party ;)

Wendy had invited all the girls over to her house after school on Friday to get ready for Token’s party and Kenny thought if there was anything he was going to miss the most about having a vagina this was definitely one of them. There were multiple mirrors set up in the room, each girl doing their make-up and hair in front of them, there was kick-ass music blasting and pre-drinks happening and fashion shows as each girl tried to decide what to wear.

They then all walked together to Token’s house in one big giggling group; most of them already tipsy from the pre-drinks as they talked the whole way about who they thought was gonna make out with who at the party and Wendy tried to talk a bit about school before Bebe cut her off

“Hey! What did we say earlier? No school talk at the party!” Wendy sent a grin to Bebe then and stuck her tongue out at her playfully

“We’re not AT the party yet!” Kenny laughed at that; he had learned when hanging out with the girls that Wendy and Bebe were like the Kyle and Stan of their group.

“Hey, Bebe, didn’t Clyde say there was gonna be karaoke at the party?” That was Red, and Kenny felt the smile grow on his face as Bebe nodded – her blonde curls bouncing with her.

“Karaoke?! Girls we have to sing a song together!” Kenny watched as the three heads turned to look at him; Red with a smirk, Wendy with a frown and Bebe with an unsure look.

“I dunno Kenzie…”

“Yeah I don’t think I could..”

“I mean I’m in but I have no idea what we’d sing” That was Red again, confident as ever, and Kenny frowned, tapping his lower lip in thought as he heard Heidi and Annie giggling behind them about something. Kenzie wanted to sing something sexy, something to get the boys blood pumping.

The perfect song came to mind and Kenny actually squealed at the thought.

“That’s it! We should totally sing Moulin Rogue!” Kenny clapped his hands excitedly as Red whooped and Bebe and Wendy looked at him with wide eyes

“Nuh-uh!”

“No way!” Kenny pouted at them both

“What? Why not?!”

“Because we’ll look like idiots!” Kenny rolled his eyes at that

“Uh no, we’ll look like sexy bitches” Wendy pursed her lips at that

“You mean YOU’LL look like a sexy bitch” Kenny raised his eyebrows at Wendy in disbelief

“No, we all will.” Wendy shook her head and Bebe looked down at the look silently

“Woah wait hold up, do you two seriously think you’re not hot enough to rock that song? Because you are.” Bebe looked up at Kenny’s praise and looked as though she were considering it but Wendy just frowned

“It’s not just that Kenzie, it’s such a big song, one tiny mess-up and we’ll be the laughing stock of the whole school!” Kenny rolled his eyes and grabbed Wendy’s hand in his own to give it a reassuring squeeze

“Okay look, we are hot as shit, we can sing and don’t even try and tell me you can’t because you were working those tunes when we were getting ready earlier and if anyone even dares to make fun of us we can and will destroy them, alright?” Kenny was looking Wendy straight in the eyes and he watched as the self-conscious look faded away to be replaced with Wendy’s usual confident smile.

“Okay fine, but who is gonna be who? I’m not being Christina!” Kenny grinned at that

“I’ll be Christina! Bebe, you in?” The blonde smiled back at Kenny and nodded

“Yeah, but I wanna be Pink though!” The girls all nodded at that and Red spoke up

“I’m not great at singing but I know the rap word for word. So I’ll be Lil’ Kim”

“Awesome, so I’m Mya then, that works for me” Kenny grinned at his girls as they reached Token’s house

“We are going to be so amazing, come on!”

 ~~~~~~~

It was about an hour into the party, the place was packed and Kenny had made sure to get a few rounds of drinks into the girls before announcing it was time for them to go and sing; they waited until Clyde had finished singing Uptown Funk before running up and grabbing the mics.

“Where’s all my soul sisters, lemme hear ya’ll flow sisters!”

The crowd instantly began to cheer as Red confidently called out the first line and the tell-tale beat of Moulin Rouge began to blast through the speakers

“Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister!” All of the girls began to blast out the song, their voices merging as one before they fell back to let Wendy take the spotlight

“He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge! Struttin’ her stuff on the street” Kenny grinned to himself as he saw the fire light up inside Wendy and Stan’s eyes widened as Wendy set her sights on him and began to head over to him as she sung

  
“She said, "Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?”” Wendy basically purred into the microphone as she ran her hand down Stan’s chest and the audience whooped as Stan turned bright red. They kicked into the chorus and Wendy made her way back over to the other girls to join them again. Everyone was cheering and singing along, and Kenny had never felt more in his element than he did right now.

“He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up!” Bebe kicked off the next verse, she didn’t head over to anyone in the crowd like Wendy had, but when she sung the line about the black satin sheets she ran her hands down her body sensually and Kenny caught the flirty wink and tongue flick that the blonde beauty directed at Clyde and smirked at the way the flustered boy also turned as red as Stan had.

Damn was he proud of his girls. They rocked through the chorus a second time, strutting their stuff and then Red belted out the rap like she was Lil’Kim herself; getting a massive cheer from the crowd around them. Then the girls were singing together again, building up and Kenny took a deep breath and steeled himself. He was going to rock this.

“Noo, oh yeah, hey, hey, hey!” Kenny came in singing Christina Aguilera’s part and he could hear a few shocked gasps in the audience as he sung; he knew he had a good voice and he knew how to own it.

“Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth!” He grinned at the crowd as he started out strong, running a hand down his body the same way Bebe had and everyone screamed in excitement as he hit the notes perfectly and winked at them all. He carried on singing sensually and his eyes drifted through the crowd until he locked his baby blues with Craig’s almost navy and he grinned at him right as he sung the next line and dropped to his knees

“Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried” At this, Kenny then leant backwards so that his butt was resting on his feet and he tossed his head back, one hand in his long blonde hair as he began to thrust sensually and moan into the microphone like he was being fucked

“More, more, more!” 

“Now he’s back home doing 9 to 5!” Bebe came in straight away with her next line as the song carried on but Kenny took just a moment to glance at Craig before getting back up off the floor and felt his vagina throb at the lustful look the noirette was directing right at him; Craig’s eyes were wide with shock but his pupils were dilated and Kenny winks at him before getting back up and finishing the song with his girls.

  
“Christina!!”  
“Oh yeah ooh!” Kenny did a slut drop and winked at the crowd as they went wild

“Pink!”   
“Lady Marmalade!” Bebe belted out the line to the ceiling

“Lil' Kim!” Kenny took the line for Red and the other sent him a grin before doing a chest pop as she strutted towards the crowd  
”Hey hey uh uh uh uh uh uh uh!”

“Mya!”   
“Oh oh ooooh!” Wendy flipped her hair and winked at Stan

“Creole Lady Marmalade ooh yes!” They sung out the last line together and as the song finished their classmates went wild with applause and the girls all laughed as they pulled each other into a group hug

“I love you guys!” Kenny smiled at the girls as he spoke to them, still tight in their group hug and he really honestly meant it.

He was regretting the day he woke up as a guy again just because he knew he’d lose this amazing friendship he had managed to make with the South Park girls.

Speaking of friendships, his eyes flittered over to Tweek and smiled as he wondered if he’d be able to convince his anxious friend to go up and sing with him.

Well, only one way to find out.


	9. Don't go breaking my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More party shenanigans ensue, little bit of fluffy Twenny <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the huge delay, just had a massive loss of motivation with this story recently =/  
> I'll try to get the next chapter out sooner! Just wanna say a thank you to everyone who is still reading! xD

“Ken! You were amazing!” Tweek squealed as Kenny came over and immediately pulled the other into a hug; Kenny noticed how weird it felt to not be taller than the other and he also internally winced at the nickname.

“Heh, thanks Tweek, hey, will you sing a song with me, pretty please?” Tweek pulled back from the hug to look at Kenny with wide eyes

“Uu-uhh, I’m not sure” Craig was standing beside Tweek, an arm slung around his waist protectively and Kenny could feel the older glaring at him as Tweek started to shake a little

“Aww come on Tweek! It’ll be fun!” Tweek bit his lip nervously and Kenny saw his hands twitch and then fly up to his hair but Kenny instinctively intercepted his hands and grabbed them before he could attempt to pull at his hair.

He missed the way Craig eyes widened at the clearly practiced movement as Kenny bat his eyelashes up at Tweek

“Please? We can sing ‘Don’t go breaking my heart’, I know you love that one!” Tweek sighed, squeezing Kenny’s small hands

“Okay fine. But just ONE song!” Kenny grinned at Tweek and began to pull him over to the microphones; neither of them noticing the contemplative look on Craig Tucker’s face.

Kenny smiled reassuringly at Tweek as the song started to play and Tweek took a deep breath before singing the first line

“Don't go breaking my heart” Kenny only had a nano-second to marvel at Tweek’s soft voice before he had to quickly reply

“I couldn't if I tried” They quickly got through the first verse and to the chorus, smiling at each other as they sung and Kenny was trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach as Tweek’s greeny blue eyes sparkled with his happiness.

For a moment Kenny felt as though it were just the two of them in the room, singing and joking and he assumed Tweek felt the same way judging by how confident the other had suddenly become. It was amazing and Kenny felt like he was losing himself bit by bit as the song carried on and Tweek’s soft voice infiltrated his soul.

Everything was going great right until Kenny sung the line about giving his heart and he felt himself falter visibly at it. His cheeks heating up as he had to repeat it.

“Oooh, I gave you my heart” Fuck he needed to control himself. It was just a stupid song and Tweek was frowning now with that adorable little confused expression on his face. Kenny tried his best to shake off the sudden onslaught of feelings and they carried on with the song.

Kenny had never been so glad to have a song finish as he was when they sung the final lyric and Tweek pulled him into a hug straight away.

“Okay th-that was more fun than I thought it’d be!” Tweek was giggling, looking at him as he pulled back from the hug and he was so warm and gentle and he smelled amazing and----

Kenny jolted as he realised he was leaning in closer to Tweek, his eyes on his lips and Tweek was frowning at him and awww shiitttttttt.

“Uh, I need the toilet!” Kenny quickly ducked out of the room and away from Tweek and his cute confused face and got to the toilet only to find someone was already in there and shit Kenny just needed to breathe and be away from people and noise and god was this what it felt like whenever Tweek had an anxiety attack because if so he felt so bad for the other and---

He was pulled out of his never ending thoughts as a rough hand grabbed his wrist and he was about to protest and pull away when he saw it was none other than Craig Tucker who was pulling him away from the toilet and then they were outside and fucking finally Kenny could breathe.

Kenny immediately dropped his head back against the wall, shut his eyes and just took a moment to breathe. In and out. In and out. Just like he would always say to Tweek. He didn’t even realise that Craig was still there until he opened his eyes to see a cigarette appear in his line of sight and he followed the hand holding it to see Craig quirking an eyebrow at him.

No words were exchanged as Kenny plucked the cigarette out of Craig’s hand and let the other boy light it up; Kenny let his head fall back against the wall again and took in a deep drag of it. There was relative silence for a moment as Kenny calmed down and Craig lit up his own cigarette.

Mission momentarily forgotten in the wake of his panic he frowned up at Craig and took the cigarette out of his mouth to speak

“Thought you hated me?” It was true, ever since Kenny became Kenzie – and even somewhat before then – Craig had shown him nothing but anger and annoyance so it was weird for him to be suddenly offering comfort. Craig smirked a little and Kenny’s stomach did a little flip at the way half of his lip tilted upwards and fuck Craig looked hot when he smirked like that.

“Was I really that obvious?” Kenny frowned at Craig for a moment before those dark eyes flitted down to look at him and he realised that Craig was teasing him. Kenny was so unused to Craig Tucker actually talking to him without irritation coating his voice that he just blinked up at him in confusion. Craig rolled his eyes in response to Kenny’s silence and took a puff of his cigarette before he spoke.

“I don’t hate you Ken, I hate when you flirt with me.” Kenny could slowly feel himself coming back from the anxiety attack and he snorted; not even noticing the nickname.

“Oh, don’t lie Craig, you love it.” Craig opens his mouth to reply but Kenny doesn’t give him the chance, putting out his finished cigarette, spinning around to face Craig and pressing one hand on Craig’s chest to push the other firmly against the wall; speaking in a low voice.

“You just hate that you love it.” Craig stared down at him for a minute, his eyes darkening even further, and Kenny was just about to step away when Craig dropped his cigarette butt on the floor and leaned his face right down so that their noses were almost touching.

“You’re right, I do.” Craig’s deep voice rumbled through Kenny’s body and got a very definite reaction from his southern regions. Fuck Kenny reckoned he could cum from Craig’s voice alone. Kenny almost jumped as a warm hand landed on his waist and stayed there and he blinked up at Craig – momentarily stupefied as the noirette smirked down at him.

“What? Cat got your tongue McCormick?” Kenny felt like he couldn’t breathe, his chest was tight, and he couldn’t stop looking at Craig’s full lips and breathing in his musky smell.

Fuck this was not supposed to be the plan, he was supposed to make Craig fall for him not the other way around but here he was completely and definitely falling for Craig as he leant up to kiss the other.

But then Craig used the hand he had on his waist to spin Kenny around so that he was now the one pinning the blonde to the wall and Kenny blinked stupidly up at Craig as the other frowned down at him.

“You’re hot Ken, but I’m with Tweek and I love him. I’d never cheat on him.” Craig stepped back from Kenny then and Kenny wanted to speak but had no idea what to say to that when they both heard a familiar voice.

“Heyy! You two okay?” It was Tweek, his smile wide and body relaxed with the alcohol running through his system and Kenny couldn’t help but smile at the cute little blonde

“We’re fine Tweeky” Kenny let his eyes dart up to Craig then and he smirked a little as he felt his mojo returning at the sight of his blonde best friend

“Craig here was just being a gentleman and offering the damsel in distress a smoke” Kenny flipped his long blonde hair for emphasis and grinned at the eye roll it got out of Craig. Tweek’s smile grew wider and he wrapped his arms around Craig’s waist in a hug as he smiled up at his boyfriend

“Awww honey, you never offer your cigarettes to anyone! You must really like Kenzie huh?” Craig stiffened slightly at that and Kenny’s grin grew at the statement

“Oh really?” Kenny grinned and leaned slightly towards Craig as Tweek laughed and Craig huffed at the two of them.

“Kenny was having an anxiety attack and I figured it’d calm him down.” Both Tweek and Kenny seemed to freeze at that before Tweek let out a nervous laugh and stepped back from Craig

“Uhh, Craig, that’s Kenzie, a she, not Kenny.” Kenny nodded, quickly jumping in with his arms crossed over his chest like he was annoyed

“I’m a girl jackass.” He puffed out his very prominent chest as if to make a point and Craig rolled his eyes, putting his hands up in a mock surrender

“Sorry sorry, you’re just very similar.” Kenny rolled his eyes, feeling his heart rate slowly returning to normal

“Well, yeah, he is my cousin.” Craig merely made a ‘mhm’ noise before grabbing Tweek’s hand in his

“Come on Tweekers, I need another drink to deal with the rest of our classmates tonight” Tweek nodded and Kenny frowned as he watched the two walk back inside.

Well, that was weird.

 

~~~~~~~

 

When the party had finally ended at stupid o’clock in the morning the girls had walked home together and Kenny had insisted on getting them all home before he went himself, they had tried to complain about his safety but he had waved it off with the usual ‘I’m a McCormick, I’ll be fine’ and he was actually pretty thankful for being alone as he turned the corner onto his street because it was at that exact moment that some idiot in a pick up truck swerved off the road and crashed straight into him.

Then the world went black.


	10. I love to get dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny wakes up the next morning back in his bed and spends the day with Craig's gang ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the huge delay! Been super busy with Uni work the past month :(  
> Hope you enjoy!!!  
> Next chapter will be the boys back at Tweeks ;)

Kenny groaned as he slowly came back into consciousness; feeling the worn mattress underneath him and the warm blanket draped over him.

Did he mention how much he hated getting run over?

He groaned once more and rolled over onto his front only to stop as he felt a distinct weight in his groin area and an almost bare feeling on his chest. Wait…was he?

He shot up to look down at himself and let out an exclamation of joy at seeing his flat chest and the bulge in his pants.

“YES!” Kenny couldn’t help himself as he jumped off his bed onto the floor and began to dance around his room singing to himself

“Guess whose back, back again! Kenny’s back! Tell a friend! Guess who's back, guess who's back? Guess who's back, guess who's back? Guess who's back—”

“Guess who's back!” Karen’s voice cut off his own and he turned to see his sister standing at his open doorway with a grin on her face that almost matched his own. She squealed and ran over to hug him, pulling back to smile up at him afterwards.

“As much as I loved having a big sister I’m glad you’re back to being my lovable big brother!” Kenny ruffled her hair with a teasing smirk

“Oh, so I wasn’t lovable as a girl?” Karen raised a brow at him in challenge

“Nope, actually you were kinda annoying.” Kenny could tell by the twitch of her lips that Karen was messing with him and trying not to laugh, so he threw a hand on his chest and gasped dramatically

“What? You thought I was annoying?” He made his eyes water with a theatrical sniffle and in response Karen snorted and gave him a gentle shove before heading out of his room

“You really should have joined the drama club Ken, there’s a waffle for you in the kitchen!”

“Thanks care-bear! Be out in a second!” Kenny went back over to his bed, grabbing his phone from where it was in plugged in on the floor and plopped himself down on his bed to text Tweek.

_so hey tweeky I got hit by a car last night and woke up this morning with my dick back in its rightful place_

It was barely a couple of seconds before his phone dinged with a reply

_Woah! Really?_

_wanna pic to prove it? ;)_

_N-no I’m good! Geez Ken, you’ve only just gotten it back try to keep it in your pants for more than a few hours at least_

_hey im just happy to have it back though tbh I will miss being a girl_

_Really? Is it because you got all the guys riled up?_

_nah I do that no matter what gender I am_

_its actually hanging out with the girls that I’ll miss theyre p cool_

_Well at least you now get the wonderful company of Cartman and co again ;)_

_…..tweek you are a cruel cruel boy_

_Cruel? Really? So I’m guessing you don’t want to hang out today with such a cruel person? ;)_

_im friends with Cartman_

_Okay, point taken._

_but youre a sweetheart tweeky even if youre a sarcastic lil shit <3_

_Awww, such a sweet talker Ken, you can blame Craig for the sarcasm though ^^_

Kenny’s mind flashed back to the party, to teasing Craig and Craig teasing him right back, to the talk they had outside and the way Craig had set his nerves on fire with his stupid smirk and his deep voice. He really didn’t want to talk about Craig right now.

_did you say something about hangin out? what did you wanna do?_

_Well Token, Craig, Clyde and I were gonna go get Taco Bell and then hang out at Stark’s Pond for a bit_

Kenny frowned, it wasn’t uncommon for him to hang out with ‘Craig’s gang’ considering how close he and Tweek had become over the years; he was known for bouncing around between groups as he got on with most people.

But right now he wasn’t sure if being around both Craig and Tweek at the same time was a good idea. Or even just being around Craig in general. Tweek must have noticed his reluctance through his lack of response as another text soon beeped through

_I’ll buy you food and we can get a doggy bag for Kare as well_

Kenny smiled at that; Tweek really was a sweetheart.

_aww babe you had me at ‘I’ll buy you’ ;)_

_How do you manage to make EVERYTHING sexual?_

_its one of my many talents ;)_

_We’re meeting at Taco Bell at 12, be there or be square_

_save a seat for me baby ;)_

 

_~~~~~~~~~~~_

 

Kenny took a deep breath and steeled himself before walking through the door to Taco Bell. His eyes shot up to the corner booth - the one Craig’s gang always hung out in because Tweek likes being in corners so that there’s no-one behind him – and as expected everyone was already there and laughing at something Clyde had just said.

And of course the first person to look over in his direction just happened to be Craig. That damn stupid observant sexy asshole.

Kenny almost tripped over his own feet when Craig – usually stoic scowly Craig – raised an eyebrow and smirked at him. God the things that smirk does to his dick. But hey, Kenny was no blushing virgin, far from it in fact, so he tilted his head up and responded to Craig’s look with a flirtatious wink.

“Hey Ken!” Kenny was broken from his staring contest with Craig when Tweek called out to him, and he smiled as he noticed the other blonde boy had left a space next to him in the booth. Kenny sat down and pulled Tweek into a weird half-arm hug thing

“Hey Tweeky, how have things been? Did’ya miss my beautiful face?” Kenny smirked at his blonde friend, and it almost seemed like it took Tweek a moment to remember that ‘Kenny’ had been away for a week before he rolled his eyes playfully and shrugged Kenny off of him, passing over two Taco Bell take away bags to him as he did so. Kenny smiled gratefully and joined the others in eating; shoving the second bag into his backpack to take home for Karen.

“You were only gone a week Kenny”

“Yeah it’s a shame you couldn’t come back sooner, you missed my party on Friday” Kenny looked up to give Token an apologetic smile

“Sorry dude”

“It was epic Kenny! Shit your cousin – who by the way I am super offended you didn’t tell me about sooner – got all the girls to go up and do Moulin Rogue and it was like the hottest thing since Bebe’s boobs got to a D cup” Kenny smirked at Clyde, licking some taco sauce off his finger as he speaks

“Yup, sounds like Kenzie all right, also, don’t kid yourself Clyde, she’s way out of your league” Kenny speaks teasingly; his eyes sparkling with mischief as Clyde makes a fake offended noise at him

“Hey! She was totally all over me on her first day here!” Kenny grins at him

“That doesn’t mean jack shit buddy, Kenzie flirts with everyone” It was then that Craig finally spoke up and Kenny’s eyes shot to his immediately

“Sounds like someone else we all know.” Kenny raised a brow at Craig in challenge before a great idea came to mind. He slowly raised one of his taco covered fingers to his mouth and sucked it clean, pulling it out of his mouth with a loud popping sound.

“Yeah well she learnt from the best.” There was a very weird atmosphere in the air for a few seconds as Craig stared hard at Kenny and Kenny stared back before Clyde laughed nervously

“Jesus Kenny, we did grab napkins you know” Kenny looked over at Clyde and his slightly dilated pupils – sometimes he questioned just how ‘straight’ the other boy really was – before grinning and giving the other a playful wink.

“You know me Clyde, I love to get dirty” Token laughed at that while Clyde turned red and the atmosphere seemed to return to normality as the boys joked and chatted about their week.  

Kenny very purposefully avoided looking at both Craig and Tweek; arousal and shame lingering in the pit of his stomach.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Seriously? You got tickets to see them in concert? Mannn” Token and Kenny lay side by side on the grass by Stark’s pond while Tweek, Craig and Clyde were up sitting on the bench. Kenny enjoyed just chilling with Token; the guy was much calmer than the majority of the friends and both he and Kenny shared a love of music.

“Yeah, they sold out in seconds dude, my cousin screamed down the phone when I told her I’d got the tickets. She can’t wait.” Kenny laughed at that as he watched a bird fly over their heads

“I can imagine, I’d freak out too if I managed to get tickets” Kenny could see the sad smile Token sent him out of the corner of his eye and was about to say something to get rid of that awful pitying feeling he hated when Token spoke

“I’ll film it and you can come ‘round mine and watch it on the big screen, I know it’s not the same but” Token shrugged without finishing his sentence and Kenny turned his head to smile at him; he really did love his friends

“Thanks Token, you don’t have to do that though”

“Nah I want to. We can make popcorn and get high” Kenny’s responding laugh was cut off by Craig’s angry voice and both boys sat up to look behind them and see the noirette standing up face to face to three boys Kenny didn’t recognise.

“What the fuck did you just say to us?” Shit. Kenny recognised Craig’s tense posture as the same one he got into whenever he was about to get into a fight and apparently so did Token as both boys jumped up and started heading over to the group.

“I said that you two need to stop making out in public, it’s fucking disgusting.”

Tweek was anxiously standing behind Craig whereas Clyde stood beside him looking just as furious as his best friend. Kenny’s eyes narrowed at the homophobic words and he came closer, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You guys got a problem with two guys showing their affection for each other?” Kenny inwardly smirked as the three boys looked over to see him and Token and he tilted his head at them condescendingly

“Or are you just mad that you don’t have a hot guy to make out with yourselves?” He watched with delight as two of the boys’ eyes filled with fury and one of them stepped towards him. Kenny held his ground with a smirk.

“You a fucking faggot too?” Oh, this would be fun. Kenny got even closer to the boy, leaning his face right down to smile at him.

“You think I’d limit all this” He gestured to his own body “To just one gender?” He stepped back and winked at the angry homophobe

“Nuh-uh baby” The punch caught him right on the nose and Kenny couldn’t stop the yell of pain as it broke and blood came gushing out of it. He barely heard the sounds of the other boys yelling and jumping into a fight as he sent a kick right into the other guy’s stomach and followed after him with a punch to the face.

This is one of those times when living in the roughest area of South Park came in handy. The other guy barely managed to get more than a measly punch to Kenny’s cheek before the dirty blonde had knocked the other to the floor and was landing punch after punch on him; lost in a frenzy of red.

“Kenny!” Tweek’s alarmed yell brought Kenny back to the present and he realised the guy under him was now unconscious. He tilted his head and pressed two fingers to the other’s neck. Yup. He was still alive. He slowly got up off the other and turned around to see the other two homophobes also knocked out cold on the floor. Clyde had a black eye and a bruise on his cheek but was otherwise fine, Token and Tweek looked unharmed and Kenny let his eyes shoot over to see Craig who was spitting blood on the unconscious guy on the floor; the noirette had a split lip and bloodied knuckles.

Kenny flinched as Tweek reached out to gently poke at his nose

“Shit Ken, is that broken?” Kenny gently pushed Tweek’s hand away

“Yup, guess he didn’t appreciate me flirting with him” Kenny heard an amused snort and glanced over at Craig who was smirking at him

“You think?” Kenny ignored Token and Clyde’s obviously surprised looks between him and Craig as he stuck his tongue out at him

“Can’t blame a guy for trying!” Craig just rolled his eyes and Kenny couldn’t help the grin that overtook his face.

Token and Clyde were still looking confused as fuck and Kenny didn’t blame them. You could count on one hand the amount of times Craig was amiable to Kenny.  

“Come on, we sh-should leave before th-they wake up!” The boys all nodded at Tweek’s outburst and started heading away from Starks Pond.

Kenny winced as he prodded at his nose and Token sent him a sympathetic glance as they walked

“You alright Kenny?” Kenny glanced over at Token and sent him a grin

“Aww don’t worry Token, I’ve had wayyy worse than this before. I’m just annoyed he actually managed to break it.”

“Your sister is gonna freak out man” Kenny frowned at Clyde’s words

“Shit you’re right.”

“Clyde’s right? The world must be ending.” Craig spoke with a deadpan tone and Clyde shoved his shoulder

“Hey!” Tweek rolled his eyes and turned to look at Kenny

“Ken you can come clean up at mine” Kenny sent Tweek a grateful smile

“Thanks Tweeky” Kenny swallowed around the lump in his throat at the breath-taking smile that Tweek replied with before the small blonde turned back to his boyfriend and nudged him to behave.

He’d gladly beat up a hundred homophobes if it meant that Tweek kept smiling at him like that.

 


	11. Why do you think that Craig?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig, Tweek and Kenny go back to Tweek's house and end up having a little chat ;)

One thing Kenny didn’t think about? The fact that Craig would also be going back to Tweeks, which meant that he’d be stuck in the same room as both of his crushes, both of his crushes who happened to be boyfriends.

Fuckkkkk. He was so screwed.

Thankfully both of Tweek’s parents were at the coffee shop so they didn’t have to worry about the adults freaking out. Tweek automatically grabbed Kenny’s wrist and pulled him into the kitchen, gesturing for him to sit down on a chair as he went over to the fridge.

“Pinch your nose Ken.”

“I know what to do ma’” Tweek shot Kenny a sharp glare and Kenny smirked in response, sticking his tongue out; a chuckle reminded him of Craig’s presence and he looked up at the noirette as Craig rolled his eyes at him.

“Figures, even with a broken nose you’re still as annoying as ever” Kenny just raised a brow at him; the sweet words falling from his lips without hesitation

“Wanna kiss it better for me baby?” He winked at Craig and there was a noticeable moment where Craig looked clearly lost for words and Kenny realised what he had just said.

“Hold that on your nose Ken, Craig, on your mouth” Tweek tossed a bag of peas at him and another frozen bag at Craig and Kenny was glad for the interruption as he pressed the frozen bag to his throbbing nose.

“What’s w-with you two?” Kenny frowned as Tweek spoke and then when the words sunk in he blanched and looked at Craig.

Well. There had been the flirting all week which Kenny thought was nothing, until it wasn’t nothing, and then there was the party, the panic attack, Craig taking him outside, calming him down, talking, flirting, Craig’s deep low voice and that almost kiss. But Craig didn’t know that was Kenny, that was Kenzie, so really, why was Craig acting weird? Kenny ended up just shrugging, pressing the bag of peas harder against his nose.

“I dunno” It was then that Craig sighed and rolled his eyes, and both Tweek and Kenny looked at him in confusion as the noirette put down his bag of ice cubes.

“Come on, how stupid do you two think I am?” Okkayyyy, now Kenny was definitely confused.

“W-what?” Craig blinked at their blank stares and sighed again, pinching his nose while he shut his eyes, there was a pause before he re-opened them again and Kenny found that dark stare trained on him

“Kenny, Kenzie? Really?” There was another moment of silence before it clicked, and Kenny frowned, surely he didn’t figure it out? To anyone outside of Kenny and Tweek’s weird worlds, things like someone changing magically into a girl for a week didn’t happen. Sure weird shit happened when they were kids, but that was a long time ago.

“Babe, w-what are you t-talking about?” Ah no, Tweek’s stuttering was getting worse, a sure sign he was nervous.

“I’m talking about how Kenny IS Kenzie. I have no idea how the fuck he managed to pull it off, but I’ve seen weirder shit in this town so I’m really not as surprised as I should be.” Tweek looked like he was about to explode so Kenny reached out and grabbed his arm to try and calm him down

“Tweeky, chill. It’s fine.” Tweek seemed to calm down a bit at that, so Kenny looked over at Craig and raised an eyebrow.

“Why do you think that Craig?” Craig rolled his eyes again – Kenny was surprised they hadn’t popped out their sockets by now – and stepped closer to Kenny

“Because you’re the same person. I know you McCormick, and you’ve been here all week. And even if you try to pull that ‘she’s my cousin of course we’re the same’ bullshit I could point out how familiar ‘she’ was with Tweek, way too familiar to have just met him. I saw how you stopped him from pulling out his hair at the party, you’d have to know Tweek for a while to know he even does that, let alone be able to stop him.” Craig then cast a glance at Tweek, and gave him a soft smile

“Besides, Tweek called you Ken a few times at that party.” Tweek made a sound of apology at that and Kenny just waved him off

“Don’t worry Tweek” He then turned to look at Craig again, raising a brow at him in challenge

“Okay Sherlock you’ve figured it out, but, so what? I flirt with you all the time, why is this time such a big deal?”

“Because this time you weren’t joking.” And just like that all of Kenny’s bravado disappeared. Shit. What was he supposed to say to that? He realised that he had taken too long to respond, that Tweek was now looking at him with wide eyes, and he bit his lip at a sudden loss for words

“I, uh, um” He caught the half-smirk on Craig’s lips, that bastard, before the noirette turned to face Tweek

“And as for you Tweek, I’m still confused as to why you’ve been okay with Kenny flirting with me all week. Normally if anyone even shoots a flirty glance in my direction you lose your shit. But you’re cool with Kenny almost kissing me?” Tweek yelped at that and Kenny tried his best to shrink into the chair he was sitting on as those greeny-blue eyes flitted over to look at him.

“Almost kissing?!?”

“Yeah, at Token’s party? Shit babe I thought you saw, you called our names not even a few seconds after I stepped away from Ken” Kenny winced at that, thanks Craig.

“I saw you were close, I thought you were just talking!” Tweek’s eyes jumped from him to Craig and then back to him and Kenny mentally pleaded for Damien to open up a hole below him straight into hell because that’s where he belonged.

“I..I’m sorry Tweek. I just…I wasn’t thinking. Don’t blame Craig please, he pushed me away and told me he’d never cheat on you, it was my fault” God Kenny felt like utter shit right now, and what made it even worse was that he couldn’t read Tweek’s expression at all.

“If it makes you feel any better babe he was just coming down from a panic attack, he wasn’t thinking straight.” Kenny had to bite down the urge to say, ‘when am I ever?’; now was not the time for gay jokes. He watched as Tweek frowned at that, looking over to Craig now.

“A panic attack?”

“Yeah, after you two sang together, he leaned in to kiss you and then freaked out and ran.”

“CRAIG!” Kenny couldn’t help the involuntary response as he felt his cheeks heat up and he slapped his hand over his mouth.

Now would be a great time for that swirling pit to hell to appear please Damien.

“W-What I don’t r-remember th-that?!?” Oh great now Tweek was back to stuttering again which meant he was totally freaked out by Kenny wanting to kiss him and oh god—

“I should just leave, yup, that’s what I’m gonna do, bye now.” Kenny got no further than putting down the bag of peas and standing up before Craig was suddenly there in his space, pushing him back onto the chair

“Stay.”

“Hey I’m not a dog!” Kenny’s complaint went completely ignored as Craig looked over to Tweek

“I don’t think you noticed he was leaning in babe, you were too excited from singing.”

“Okay as fun as this has been I reallllyyyy need to leave now. Karen’s probably waiting for me!” Once again, ignored.

“W-wait, so, Ken, you like us both?” Aww shit. Kenny gulped, looking to them both to see they both had their eyes trained on him. This was why Kenny much preferred meaningless flirting and one-nights to actual crushes; it always ended badly.

“Yeesssss, can I go now please?” He stood up again only to have Craig push him back down and he glared up at the noirette.

“I swear to God Tucker, you push me one more time—”

“God can’t pick up the phone right now McCormick, he’s too busy hiding from our sin”

“Fine, then I’ll swear to Satan!” Craig opened his mouth to reply but Tweek’s quiet voice cut him off before he could.

“I…I think I like Kenny too.” Wait. What. Kenny’s head immediately snapped over to look at Tweek who was looking back at him with wide eyes while fidgeting with his fingers.

“You…what..?”

“Well that’s good, ‘cause so do I.” At Craig's words Kenny made a sound embarrassingly close to a whine and looked between the two boys in confusion; the noise causing Craig’s eyes to darken as he smirked down at Kenny

“Yeah, I definitely like him.” Kenny ignored the twitch his dick gave at that low husky voice and he looked over to Tweek.

“Tweeky?” Tweek looked at him with wide eyes, then looked to Craig, then back to him, then, as though it was taking a lot of courage he walked over to them and leaned up to whisper something in Craig’s ear

“Hey! No fair!” Kenny tried to jump up for a third and final time and he felt himself being shoved down again as Craig spoke.

“Sure.” He glared at the noirette and was about to reach out and shove him back when suddenly Tweek was right in front of his face and Kenny would never admit how he jumped a little. But Tweek was smiling at him softly and his hand was warm on his cheek and Kenny felt his breath stop when Tweek leaned even closer to press their lips together.

Holy shit.

His lips were so soft, and he was kissing Kenny so gently, like he was scared he might break if he pushed too hard, and it wasn’t until Kenny moaned lowly in the back of his throat and pressed into the kiss that Tweek let go off the tension Kenny could feel him holding in his body. Kenny reached out to grab Tweek’s shoulders and hold onto him as the kiss deepened; Tweek’s hand on his cheek sliding down to cup the back of his neck.

It felt like only a few seconds had passed before Tweek pulled away from the kiss and Kenny didn’t even realise he had subconsciously followed his lips until he heard Craig chuckle and he snapped back to reality to see Tweek with red-tinted cheeks and Craig’s dark, dark eyes drinking them both in.

“Yeah okay, I definitely like him too.” Tweek spoke with a small grin, leaning back against Craig as they stood in front of Kenny and fuck they were both so beautiful and they were both looking at him expectantly and…oh, were they waiting for him to? Oh.

“Well of course I like you two, I mean, I sang to you both, it doesn’t get any gayer than that” Kenny winked at them, feeling some of his usual bravado coming back to him

“Well in that case.” Craig stepped around Tweek and grabbed Kenny by the front of his shirt. Their lips collided roughly as Kenny pushed up to meet him halfway and he could feel the rumble of Craig’s groan as Kenny immediately nipped at the other boy’s bottom lip. It was rough and fast and messy and sent heat straight down to Kenny’s groin in a way that he thought was only possible in cheesy romance novels. Craig shoved Kenny back down into the chair again and stepped back with blown pupils.

“Craig! Your lip is bleeding again!” Both Kenny and Craig looked over at Tweek to see the smaller boy was already grabbing a wet cloth to clean Craig up but Kenny watched as Craig darted a hand out to grab Tweek by the arm and pull him in close; leaning down to speak lowly into Tweek’s ear.

“Why don’t you kiss it better for me?” Craig pulled back just enough so that Tweek was looking into his eyes and Kenny watched Tweek swallow before leaning in and kissing Craig. Fuck this was so hot and oh god they had both admitted to liking him as well and Kenny had to pinch himself just to make sure he wasn’t dead and in heaven right now.

The two boys pulled away from their kiss in time to spot Kenny pinching himself and Craig couldn’t help but chuckle at the action

“Making sure you’re not dreaming McCormick?” Kenny glanced up and smirked.

“Dreaming? Nah I was making sure I’m not in heaven, two incredibly hot guys making out with me and each other? Definitely heaven material right there.” Craig smirked at that, but Kenny could see the slight glimmer in Tweek’s eyes.

Craig thought he was joking. Tweek knew he wasn’t.

“How about we go up to my room and we’ll show you why being with us is much better than being in heaven?” Both boys looked at Tweek in surprise at his bold outburst and he grinned at them before heading to the kitchen door; glancing back at them with a coy smile.

“You boys coming?” He then left without waiting for an answer and Kenny could feel himself getting aroused already

“Oh, I’m coming alright.” Craig snorted at his dirty joke as they both followed Tweek upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, just lost a bit of motivation with this fic, not to mention exams and essays for Uni, think this has only got one more chapter left after this one, and I think we can all tell what kind of content that chapter will have ;)


End file.
